Engracia B. Gill, LCSW MBA

An Oasis of Healing | Couples Therapy, Trauma Resolution

  • Home
  • About
    • Philosophy
    • More About Engracia
    • Why Therapy?
    • Free Resources
  • Services
    • Marriage and Couples Counseling
    • Anxiety
    • Trauma Transformation
    • Depression
    • Mindfulness
  • Store
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Pay Your Invoice

August 30, 2015 by Engracia Gill

The Three Most Powerful Words…

One of my favorite quote on parenting comes from John Gottman Ph.D., who founded the Gottman Institute in Seattle, an institute that has been dedicated to understanding marriages and families for the last 30 years.

“The most three most powerful words that a parent can say to a child are ‘I am sorry’…”

You may wonder how he came to utter these words and you would have to read his books and listen to his talks. His research has been truly amazing which, for me, establishes him as a humble authority in the field of psychology. And his quote reveals his own experience as well as a human being… So my take on his quote is that when a parent recognizes her mistake and speaks to it verbally to her child, the effect is profound and amazing. It allows the child to know that human beings make mistakes. It allows the child to observe and experience a sense of quiet dignity in her parent. If there is anything that cuts down toxic shame, it is these three most powerful words!

Again, you may wonder why? Let me give you my interpretation: because it shows that as a parent, you give yourself permission to be imperfect! And as a parent, you model vulnerability and most importantly, that gem of a pure heart, humility. If you want to pass on accountability and the ability to connect with others to your children, model your own accountability with empathy. Obviously, having the ability to know one’s mistakes does imply a true sense of self-reflection and courage. It does not imply a mindless and quick “I am sorry”, a sentence which uttered in that manner only placates the wound in the child for a quick, expedient fix that serves only the parent.

As Brene Brown has shown in her research, it takes courage to show vulnerability and humility. Here is another word, Courage, a word that has in its etymology, the word heart (“Coeur” in French which means heart in English). And it takes courage as a human being to recognize our fallibility, our imperfection. So take heart, face your own imperfection, face your own mistakes with your children and watch the magical effect of those three words on their sense of self!

Filed Under: Blog, Family

Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn’t permanent.

— ~ Jean Kerr
  • Individual Therapy
  • Couples’ Therapy
  • Family Therapy
  • Group Therapy

Recent Blog Posts

How to Overcome Depression with Mindfulness-Assisted Therapy

How Is Chronic Sorrow Different From Depression?

Tips For Making New Friends as an Adult

Recent Blog Posts

Bored? How to Foster a Fresh Take on Your Partner

How to Begin Healing From Relationship Trauma

Successful Conflict Management, the Key to a Great Marriage

Recent Blog Posts

How Is Chronic Sorrow Different From Depression?

What Happens When Our Brains Adapt to Depression?

Can You Stop Anxiety Before It Starts?

Recent Blog Posts

How to Overcome Depression with Mindfulness-Assisted Therapy

How Is Chronic Sorrow Different From Depression?

How Should You Respond to Hurtful Comments About Women’s Rights?

Recent Blog Posts

How Is Chronic Sorrow Different From Depression?

What Happens When Our Brains Adapt to Depression?

Can You Stop Anxiety Before It Starts?

Contact

I look forward to hearing from you –
(512) 680-2784
counseling@engraciagill.com

Engracia B. Gill, LCSW, MBA
1011 Westlake Drive
Austin, TX 78746

M-F 9:00am-5:00pm
Get Directions

Take Control of Your Carbon Footprint Join Wren Today!

Connect with Us

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Pay Your Invoice

SIGN UP TO RECEIVE ENGRACIA’S MONTHLY NEWSLETTER REGARDING THERAPY & WELL-BEING INSIGHTS

  • Engracia B. Gill will use the information you provide on this form to be in touch with you and to provide you updates.
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Engracia B. Gill · Copyright © 2023 · Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 · Hello Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

Get Your Free Mindful Guide To Being Today
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.