This is a picture of me at 15 y.o. I was sexually abused by family members, a swim coach and a “spiritual” guru à la Deepak Chopra. Some of the abuse was overt, some covert. I never confronted my abusers. How could I have at 7 or even at 12? I did tell my mother that my swim coach was abusing me in the pool while she would sunbathe half a meter away. She told me: “just take his hand away”! She continued to flirt with him despite my confession. She acted a bit like a Ghislaine Maxwell over the course of my adolescence.
I have been vocal and obsessed with justice for the Epstein victims. The horror slowly seeping out makes me weep, awakening a vocal warrior in me. Yes, as I see the accusations and at this point, only allegations of girls and boys having been raped by powerful elite men such as Prince Andrew, Epstein and Donald Trump (among the most infamous ones to date), I have pain for my own inner ‘children” as well. And yet I have healed with therapy and through the deep love given to me by safe male and female figures. I have risen from the ashes of suffering into a Phoenix, advocating for other humans. Those young people in the Epstein files did not have an advocate. I did. My grandmother! She punished my cousin when I told her of his abuse. She showed me I could resist subsequent sexual abuse and psychological traps. Angels in human clothing protected me from the clutches of the false “guru” who subsequently sexually assaulted my friends. I had advocates, human angels and otherwise, who showed me and told me I did not have to permit any continued sexual abuse and assault on me!
My story is not a story of victimhood. It is a story of resilience. Healing was possible through the safe hands of trusted therapists. My last therapist encouraged me to train in EMDR (Eye Movement and Desensitisation Therapy) and ETT (Emotional Transformation Therapy). Those two clinical tools are designed to heal physical, sexual and psychological abuse. If I can heal, it is my profound belief (with 20 years of clinical experience) that others can as well. 25 years ago I became the safe human that my therapists were for me. I now dedicate my world to transform the abuser’s shamelessness into courage, the courage to stand up by speaking the truth safely, in my office. I help victims transform their introjected shame into compassion for themselves. That shame is deeply toxic. It is a muzzle, keeping victims silent against their abusers for fear of retribution and the casting of stones by society at large. Enough, this is a battle of courage that deserves to be spoken. Serving as the safe human to those who seek help is a deep calling in me that transforms the story of a victim into a story of resilience and courage!