Ode to Pia Mellody

Ode to Pia Mellody

When I was a budding therapist, right out of social work school, I started the process of healing from complex trauma through EMDR. My therapist suggested that I read “Facing Codependence” by Pia Mellody. I was instantly hooked. I had, of course, been familiar with...

The Gift of Surrender

The Gift of Surrender

Sometimes events in life appear to be overwhelming and yet, a silver lining shows itself in unexpected ways. I chose to surrender on this one occasion not because I was so wise and so courageous. No, not at all. I actually surrendered because I was cornered,...

Belonging: Our Very Important Tribal Need

Belonging: Our Very Important Tribal Need

Oprah’s new series “The Me You Don’t See” is an enormously well-crafted and deeply moving series.  In that series, Oprah focuses her most amazing gifts on our mental health needs as humans.  And the shining truth that emerged for me in her beautiful work is that we...

The Dance of the Big Hunger

The Dance of the Big Hunger

In his lovely book, "A Mantis Carroll," Laurens Van der Post, tells us about the intersection between the ancient and the modern.  Surprisingly, the tale reveals that man's distant ancestors, the Bushmen of the Kalahari, shared a search for meaning expressed through...

Perfection is the Open Heart

Perfection is the Open Heart

Isn’t it amazing that you can meet a person, a perfect stranger, and very quickly feel a connection? When I saw my husband for the first time, 38 years ago, on the Orient Express, I was backpacking with my roommate from college. We were en route to Greece, and he was...

Courage, the Cornerstone of Growth

Courage, the Cornerstone of Growth

“Let me not beg for the stilling of pain, but for the heart to conquer it” Rabindranath Tagore The word courage contains in its root the French word ‘coeur’ (i.e. heart).  In its etymology, courage implies an ability to face negative circumstances with a heart full of...

The Art of Balance

The Art of Balance

We admire dancers and acrobats as they perform feats of balance against gravity that require concentration and mastery.  And the knowing between our own needs and the needs of others is a lifelong pursuit of psychological balance that we as humans' endeavor to achieve...

Hollywood and the Dance of False Intimacy

Hollywood and the Dance of False Intimacy

I was watching a romantic comedy, “Blind Date” on Netflix this last weekend.  The movie happens to actually be a French movie.  The story, of course, applied the classic formula of “boy meets girl, boy/girl breaks up with boy/girl and boy/girl make up and are happily...