The Wisdom to Know
I have been musing for some time on what wisdom really is. The serenity prayer, widely attributed to Reinold Nieburg, an American theologian. “Grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change what I can and the wisdom to know the difference”...
The Courage to Pursue Resilience
This is a picture of me at 15 y.o. I was sexually abused by family members, a swim coach and a “spiritual” guru à la Deepak Chopra. Some of the abuse was overt, some covert. I never confronted my abusers. How could I have at 7 or even at 12? I did tell my mother that...
Cultivating Curiosity
Curiosity is as natural to us as learning to walk and talk are. Actually, curiosity propels the baby to standing up and toddle. Curiosity fosters discovery which fosters learning and fosters brain growth and psychological balance. In adulthood, we may lose the wonder...
Ode to Pia Mellody
When I was a budding therapist, right out of social work school, I started the process of healing from complex trauma through EMDR. My therapist suggested that I read “Facing Codependence” by Pia Mellody. I was instantly hooked. I had, of course, been familiar with...
The Gift of Surrender
Sometimes events in life appear to be overwhelming and yet, a silver lining shows itself in unexpected ways. I chose to surrender on this one occasion not because I was so wise and so courageous. No, not at all. I actually surrendered because I was cornered,...
Belonging: Our Very Important Tribal Need
Oprah’s new series “The Me You Don’t See” is an enormously well-crafted and deeply moving series. In that series, Oprah focuses her most amazing gifts on our mental health needs as humans. And the shining truth that emerged for me in her beautiful work is that we...
The Dance of the Big Hunger
In his lovely book, "A Mantis Carroll," Laurens Van der Post, tells us about the intersection between the ancient and the modern. Surprisingly, the tale reveals that man's distant ancestors, the Bushmen of the Kalahari, shared a search for meaning expressed through...
Conflict: A Door to Greater Intimacy
The secret to a good partnership, any partnership, be it a marriage, an enduring lifelong friendship or a business partnership, is to capture the opportunity for greater understanding through the door of conflict. My thirty-year-old son told me the other day,...
Perfection is the Open Heart
Isn’t it amazing that you can meet a person, a perfect stranger, and very quickly feel a connection? When I saw my husband for the first time, 38 years ago, on the Orient Express, I was backpacking with my roommate from college. We were en route to Greece, and he was...
Courage, the Cornerstone of Growth
“Let me not beg for the stilling of pain, but for the heart to conquer it” Rabindranath Tagore The word courage contains in its root the French word ‘coeur’ (i.e. heart). In its etymology, courage implies an ability to face negative circumstances with a heart full of...